Chapter II
Conversation with a Cat
In which Alice learns the art of being a cat
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‘Why, Miss Alice!’ said the kitten, sniffing at her and placing a warm paw on Alice’s face, just to make sure that it was indeed her. ‘There you are at last, and we have been looking all over for you!’
‘I am sorry, Kitty,’ said Alice, in her little squeaky voice, ‘but I really have been trying to attract your attention.’
‘Well, obviously not hard enough,’ said the kitten, taking charge. ‘You have no idea how worried we have all been. You really have been so very naughty, going off like that without telling anyone.’
‘I am so sorry, Kitty,’ said Alice, contritely, ‘but I don’t usually have to account for myself, before doing this sort of thing.’
‘That is just where you are wrong,’ said the kitten, sternly. ‘You are no longer in your own world, and you must take great care that you don’t make a mistake, or you may very well lose your head entirely.’
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By now it was starting to get slightly lighter, and Alice could just make out some dim shapes around her in the darkness.
In the half light, she noticed that her nightdress had gone, and that she was wearing her day clothes instead.
Moreover, the sheets which had been pressing down on her had now lifted, and she felt that she was in an altogether much more roomier and airier place.
‘That feels so much better,’ thought Alice, ‘and now that I have Kitty here with me, I am certain that I will be out of this place in no time at all.
‘Please Kitty,’ said Alice, addressing the young cat, ‘can you teach me how to be a cat, just like you? I should like that ever so much.’
The kitten thought for a moment.
‘This is most irregular,’ she said. ‘Doesn’t happen at all often.’
‘I would be ever so grateful,’ pleaded Alice, ‘and it would be so much easier for me to take care of myself, if I knew what you know already.’
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There was an awkward silence while the kitten considered her answer.
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‘It must be so lovely being a cat, and I would very much like to see what it is like,’ Alice continued, stroking the kitten’s back and rubbing her ears.
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The kitten wriggled her body, and rubbed her face against Alice’s hand.
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‘And you would be such a good teacher,’ added Alice, as she brushed the kitten’s coat, ‘having been a cat all your life.’
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The kitten purred contentedly.
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‘You make some very good points there, Miss Alice,’ she said, in a low throbbing voice. ‘Just a bit harder there behind the ears, if you please ... I really must consider your request on all its merits … and under the chin please … and I think that you might … and around the eyes please … make an excellent … ah … pupil.’
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‘Oh, thank you!’ cried Alice, jumping to her feet, and clapping her hands together.
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The kitten cleared her throat loudly, and ...
