Chapter VIII
Houses of Parliament
In which Alice is thrown to the wolves
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The Queen put down her scissors and clapped her hands three times.
The Knight appeared at the doorway, and bowed in acknowledgement to the Queen.
‘Take the Prime Minister to Parliament,’ said the Queen, pointing towards Alice. ‘It will be sitting now, and the Prime Minister really should be there to tell everyone about recent developments.’
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The Knight bowed again to the Queen.
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‘And be sure to tell the Prime Minister how Parliament works,’ added the Queen, returning to her roses.
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‘This way, noble lady,’ said the Knight, as he led Alice back down to the courtyard.
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‘I have never been to Parliament before,’ said Alice, as they rode out from the royal palace and over the drawbridge. ‘The Queen said that you would tell me all about it.’
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‘And so I will,’ said the Knight. ‘Our Parliament is one of the oldest in existence, and its history is worth recounting in some detail. In days gone by, our Parliament was well-known as a place of sage counsel and insightful debate. It was populated by wise old owls and this gave rise to the expression “A parliament of owls”. The owls were staunch defenders of the old ways, and they were well-respected and loved by all. But, alas, how times have changed! Instead of wise counsel, we now have base politics with everyone seeking to further their own interests.
‘In the main,’ he continued, ‘everyone belongs to one of two factions these days, either the pigs or the wolves. One holds power and represents the accepted order of the day, while the other espouses sufficiently different views and seeks to unseat the first faction. Now, one of the unique features of our particular parliamentary system is that legislation must go through three houses, in order to be successful. At the moment, the wolves have managed to get their way through the first house (which is made of straw), and the second house (made of sticks), but they have been less successful with the house of bricks, which has proved to be far more resilient.’
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‘Very interesting,’ said Alice, thoughtfully, ‘but what do they actually do in your Parliament?’
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‘You may well ask,’ replied the Knight. ‘These days, our Parliament serves three main purposes: Firstly, it keeps all the disruptive elements in the kingdom in one place, so that they can cause the minimum of trouble for the King and Queen (and so that the Queen can find them, when she feels so inclined). Secondly, it allows those present to attack each other instead of attacking the King and Queen. We call this debate and, by the time that Parliament closes for the year, everyone is so exhausted that they can’t wait to get home again. And thirdly, Parliament occasionally comes up with ideas that are sometimes quite helpful,’ he added, ‘although this doesn’t happen often, on account of all of the fighting and name-calling that generally goes on in there. It can be quite unpleasant, actually.’
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‘I see,’ said ...
